Not even tempted

There was a hidden force 

helping me fight my corner

a inner-strength

I never knew I had   

Only the felling of weightlessness
and the shaking in my upper body
gave me the courage to go on and
open the tin

Thank you Ian.

and there he was my very own
Ninja Warrior
Ready to take on 2012 together

If its good enough for them

                          By Stuart Byford, Stu's View. Snake painted in Acrylic and photoshoped In.

YES I've been keeping my head down like a lot of gods creatures 

when times are hard and life is difficult the body slows right down

and hibernates, and just for good measure I stick my head in the sand,

so not to hear the doom and gloom stories and the PPI  have you been 

miss sold ?  phone calls, we get here all day every day in the UK.

*

(  PPI.  Payment Protection Insurance. )

Give us a Smile

Stu's View,    Title, Smile.   Acrylic  8 x 6  Recycled Hardboard.

A smile can mean so much, give so much  pleasure,

yet can hide so many emotions. 

Started painting yesterday afternoon and finished in the evening 

sitting in front of the TV and a nice log fire,

Now I'm Smiling.   

SNAP

By Stuart Byford. Acrylic on recycled hardboard inspired by  Nemi by Lise

I like people with attitude.

  

Nemi a cartoon in the Metro a free paper here in London,

I pick it up at the station, some times I have to walk the carriages

to find a discarded copy, if I'm going to an art group this is where  I

get all my ideas from, it has to be a spur of the moment thing

when I start or it gets over worked in my head, and nothing happens

much like this blog.

I don't  like swearing but some times I just have to let it go if there is nobody about,

correction I don't let it go, it  FORCES  its way out  EXPLODES 

sadly not always when I'm alone.

***

Pressure Cracks

Stu's View 10 x 8 acrylic on hardboard

The build up from the relentless busy mind

Painted a couple of weeks ago just before I painted Amy 

Amy Winehouse

    Stu's View. 8x10 Acrylic on hardboard.

Amy R.I.P

Better late than never with the cleaning-up

                                     Stu's view, 8x8 Acrylic on hardboard. (framed in photoshop)

                                                                          Image Copy right of Stuart Byford.2011

Thank  you for coming back

Sorry not posted for a while  been bizy doing not a lot apart from the 

usual to much thinking, a little reading and bit of painting. 

 This is not my kitchen.  

Breakfast ? Full English ?

Stu'View, 10 x 12 Acrylic 

It was breakfast in bed last night

Yes I've started midnight painting

warm, cozy and relaxed. 

and no paint on the duvet yet!

Wrestling with the bank manager

Sat to night listening to the Old Gray Whistle Test
as back ground music from the TV.
 I tried to paint a bank manager
in black and white acrylic.
finished up ok but did not photo so well.

A new venture recycling

                    Stu's View, Humor.

Our aim  is to reuse the tons of waste from the pizza industry
to package and market our competitive priced product.
Using old  discarded boxes,  clinically refurbished and
dressed-up with new sign-age, alternatively we may simply
pop your pizza  inside a old lads mag or knitting pattern,
chop it up into soup or bake-bean tins and label appropriately,
you choose, and with our no door drop leafleting policy
your the winner.

Box design    

Not quite such a dragon

                                            Stu's View.

 I was happy with my attempt at the dragon of last post, sketching on

the plywood aloud me to feel more contact with the piece being

worked on, more tactile than paper, weightier and the pencil smudges and blends

lovely, I use the word lovely because of that nice involved feeling

of satisfaction some thing more attune to a relationship of two people.

This project was on plywood the same with pencil and acrylic 

toped up with a large helping of photoshop to finnish, in time I hope the two

mediums will stand on there own more.

Have you got a dragon at home

Stu'View     Last night spent a little time
in bed sketching

Can also see edited version on byford.365 

Practice

         Stu's View.

Trying to develop my skill base for painting in photoshop
 more in the style of painting and with a similar technique.

Not totally happy with it , but do like the shirt/jacket collar
not so pleased with the chin may push the pixels around
more later, now I have had time to think about it
It'll do.      

When is a tower not a tower ?

Started this doodle on a small piece of salvaged plywood
drawing the thumb, something I offen do on the side of my paper
in meetings, I had taken art to the garden in a attempt
not to vegetate in doors ,the garden knife soon snuggled up to
the thumb ,tried to make it into a church tower
but it did not quite work out that way.
 

Big bite, fish pedicure

Cheap, quick and fun to watch   

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_fish

More than words can say

The unhelpful professional. 

Thats how it is

Yesterdays doodlings  around the theme  of
my life/the economy, not going any where,  it was not planned, it just grew that way,
 and then got its title/direction, feelings have to come out some where
Feeling better at the moment ...... yes! 

Butterflies, strawberries or love

Don't know but we have four of them.

Started out as a doodle nice to dream but I think they are strawberries. 

Just walking and talking

To find drive you need some where to go.

So Relaxing

In the picture we have a paper weight I made at school 45 years ago,
the photo was take in the garden, on the edge of a pot of tall grasses,
and the fish they arrived in my comment box, they were dried
 I just added water . Thank you Cloudia.

Form filling in progress, come back later

                     / 
         /
      /     
Nearly finished just got to get it
in the post

Ready steady go

Can you hear it, I can

it maybe coming very soon

putting right the wrongs,  

Its quicker than a stena stairlift

for getting you up and down

from bathroom to lounge 

from the garden to kitchen,

you've heard it before 

that irritating mechanical sound

the electronic drone, 

It's not new you've heard it before 

at lest in one ear thats for sure.

Yes it's the have you been miss-sold 

phone call.

 But this time Gas and Electricity ? 

The missing days

Unable to move
stuck in head lights

frozen in time
like trying to do the crossword
with out a pen
I have a rusty nail
but can't spell
times getting on 
people stop to help
are they getting it right
I might change it later
later  later  think  later
times running out
the papers wet, its life or death
nearly rush hour I bet 
got to rest to do my best
thought  it was raining but its sweat 
not even dark ,why is it so intense
must be absolutely right.
thats right, right.
Is it ?

I would rather have a bowl of peanuts

In a new bowl please.
 

The Hertford train came today

Below pictures  taken in the churchyard

Beautiful deep red hollyhocks 

Small statuette hidden in the creeper  

and
Snails sleeping in the cool 

Maybe one-day

I wish my life all fitted together
as neat.

A large pot from my garden.

The Hertford that never was

 I set of for Hertford at 1. o'clock  it was taking some self motivation.

Why did I bother, train was going to be late according to the board

and later and later until canceled, with no guarantee the next

train was going to show, so I got a refund and went home.

That was the end of a afternoons creative art in Hertford 

A little Hertford church a way from the hustle and bustle of the town.

      

Thinking about thinking

Lost in time but winning the battle. 

Every thing happens for a reason ?

Do I hear "YES"

So come on tell me why when I went shopping 

 I picked up jumbo kitchen rolls

instead of toilet rolls

Health and safety Hangover

The badge comes complete with

a safety warning 

not about the perils of

the demon drink

But

The Pin on the badge,

Written around the edge in 

very small print

no suitable for children under 

36 months sharp point present.

Its been raining

Subway.

Two pictures that to

me just seemed 

to merge together.

US-war-heroes, found on yesterdays walk

This is not the memorial mentioned in the newspaper article

It has only been in place two or three weeks it over looks some where very near the field

where the plane came down,in-fact closer than the memorial mentioned,  if it is to the same air men 

I think it is a much better tribute, the badger is a mystery to me at the moment,

This is all guess work going to ask around.
As a boy I lived over in the distance behind the installation and had never heard the story
until a couple of months a go. 

TURN THE LASER OFF

PULL THE PLUG. ( only on the laser)

Been lying here god knows how long with the laser picking

it's way thou  yesterdays conversations,not the ordinary ones

at the moment its the more challenging ones, would like to sleep, but the rerun is on, accompanied by a deep rumbling of a base drum in my chest.

A the moment I have the need to

• Sleep, shut off completely, 
• Understand my self and remember to-be able to recover.
• Use my nerves energy          

Can't do all three if any. 
  

It's building up

Had a informative day, made new valuable contacts
kept the storm of anxiety at bay with a long walk home
and 3 or 4 hours on this not eaten yet,
Nor picked up a can ( well-done Stu.) talking to my self again.
Self praise is better than self doubt.   

Hiding In Dark Corners

Do you get that need to hide away
when the pressure builds up?

Top Hints For

In my mind this gorgeous young lady, is sitting

  outside my sons place of work

The theory being,

if the board dose not catch his eye, 

I'm sure the legs will.

  ( My details are on the other side )

Up up and away - with Rocket Fuel ?

Image by Stuart Byford.

Not for me thank you

Just the job

Spring cleaning                                                               

The smell of flowers with out the dirt

Water and Time.

Art work by Stuart. Byford. (c) 2011.

some thing I put together this afternoon,  And I'm Well pleased with it.
Its round the theme of water torture, representing stress and anxiety in mental health.

Tell Me More

Picture take at Forty Hall Enfield


Life is full of firsts.

First girl friend, first beer, first car, first house

Now my first review of a book and my self.

Alastair Camblell’s  Novel All In The Mind

If you intend to read this book please make sure  you are feeling safe and in a good frame of mind.

Bought for me as a Christmas present by glen, my son, I’m not a  person that find book reading adsorbing I do escape from reality but in the way of a slight distraction, not full blown absorption.

This book being about a psychiatrist, and a week or two of the interactions of him and even deeper thoughts of his patience. For me the book helped me see what I was expecting from my psychiatrist was not to much and should be achievable, if not expected.  I have now changed my psychiatrist. we where just not on the same wave length, a language barrier , resulting in the lack of full expression and trust. I don't want to give the plot of Alastair’s story a way. so I will just say I found it a useful book with a believable and uncomplicated story line and if you have not realised, many people like me struggle with mental health. 

Help is out there, talk to some one you trust, confidences can and will be kept by professionals. It takes time to build up a network of support, I have had to learn to ask for help and still find it hard.

recovery is best taken one step at a time, and in this go faster world and if always in a rush to move forward like my self,its frustrating at times, but worth it in the end. 

Gaps in Gob

Removed some of my teeth to illustrate the gaps in my Blog.
I have all the intentions of posting
but with so many things competing in my head, The end result is nothing gets
posted. Sorry, as my teacher once said, Must Try Harder.

The Nut House

 Can't be that mad they still have windows !

*

At least they see the light of day

If I kept my smarter clothes hung in a window, like this
by the time I eventually wore them, the sun would have
bleached  all one sleeve of them, and may even have
 started to disintegrate.

*
  

Find it difficult to focus

As I pushed my way through the thick over hanging Rhododendrons,
out of the corner of my eye, in the twilight of the warm spring evening, I caught
a glimpse of a large silvery white lustrous butterfly.
Then as I looked again and with disappointment realized, it had never been
anything more than two beautiful leaves.
*

Out of bed 4-30 am not yet light

I had been laying thinking about this and that,
then this and that are going round again, time to
get up. This is a little out of character I am normally 
so tired  I lay there hoping it will stop and I will re-awake
revived, it never happens that way, 
So what was going round like a washing machine ?
That drink I enjoyed last week, Just not so happy about it now.
It did not get out of hand, so what is the problem ??? Me.

Little things mean so much

I was woken up to start my day for the second time, yesterday morning

 I had been in the garden, feeding the birds, watering the plants just as

day light was braking, and then retuned to bed.

It was a phone call from a life long friend to say she was in the 

area and would like to ketch up.

This came with a invite to have lunch, at her parents house my head still full of sleep

and not really shore what time it was I said yes,

Sun shining I set off

As always a warm welcome greeted me, now to the point,

how can sum-thing as simple as a ham roll

taste so good, the roll was fresh an crispy, the ham thick cut and mouth wateringly
juicy, memories of childhood came flooding back.


*
And that welcoming or good bye hug
a small gesture, that puts so much back that life drags out.


*
Thank you.