Monday, 30 May 2011

Water and Time.

Art work by Stuart. Byford. (c) 2011.

some thing I put together this afternoon,  And I'm Well pleased with it.
Its round the theme of water torture, representing stress and anxiety in mental health.

Sunday, 29 May 2011

Tell Me More

Picture take at Forty Hall Enfield

Life is full of firsts.

First girl friend, first beer, first car, first house

Now my first review of a book and my self.

Alastair Camblell’s  Novel All In The Mind

If you intend to read this book please make sure  you are feeling safe and in a good frame of mind.

Bought for me as a Christmas present by glen, my son, I’m not a  person that find book reading adsorbing I do escape from reality but in the way of a slight distraction, not full blown absorption.
This book being about a psychiatrist, and a week or two of the interactions of him and even deeper thoughts of his patience. For me the book helped me see what I was expecting from my psychiatrist was not to much and should be achievable, if not expected.  I have now changed my psychiatrist. we where just not on the same wave length, a language barrier , resulting in the lack of full expression and trust. I don't want to give the plot of Alastair’s story a way. so I will just say I found it a useful book with a believable and uncomplicated story line and if you have not realised, many people like me struggle with mental health. 
Help is out there, talk to some one you trust, confidences can and will be kept by professionals. It takes time to build up a network of support, I have had to learn to ask for help and still find it hard.
recovery is best taken one step at a time, and in this go faster world and if always in a rush to move forward like my self,its frustrating at times, but worth it in the end

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Gaps in Gob

Removed some of my teeth to illustrate the gaps in my Blog.
I have all the intentions of posting
but with so many things competing in my head, The end result is nothing gets
posted. Sorry, as my teacher once said, Must Try Harder.

Sunday, 22 May 2011

Thursday, 19 May 2011

At least they see the light of day

If I kept my smarter clothes hung in a window, like this
by the time I eventually wore them, the sun would have
bleached  all one sleeve of them, and may even have
 started to disintegrate


Monday, 16 May 2011

Find it difficult to focus

As I pushed my way through the thick over hanging Rhododendrons,
out of the corner of my eye, in the twilight of the warm spring evening, I caught
a glimpse of a large silvery white lustrous butterfly.
Then as I looked again and with disappointment realized, it had never been
anything more than two beautiful leaves.


Thursday, 12 May 2011

Out of bed 4-30 am not yet light

I had been laying thinking about this and that,
then this and that are going round again, time to
get up. This is a little out of character I am normally 
so tired  I lay there hoping it will stop and I will re-awake
revived, it never happens that way, 
So what was going round like a washing machine ?
That drink I enjoyed last week, Just not so happy about it now.
It did not get out of hand, so what is the problem ??? Me.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Little things mean so much

I was woken up to start my day for the second time, yesterday morning
 I had been in the garden, feeding the birds, watering the plants just as
day light was braking, and then retuned to bed.
It was a phone call from a life long friend to say she was in the 
area and would like to ketch up.
This came with a invite to have lunch, at her parents house my head still full of sleep
and not really shore what time it was I said yes,

Sun shining I set off
As always a warm welcome greeted me, now to the point,
how can sum-thing as simple as a ham roll
taste so good, the roll was fresh an crispy, the ham thick cut and mouth wateringly
juicy, memories of childhood came flooding back.

And that welcoming or good bye hug
a small gesture, that puts so much back that life drags out.

Thank you.  

Sunday, 8 May 2011

Walking and Talking

It was Friday, I went with my son to
Clock House Nurseries he has a new home with his girl friend and I 
needed some plant food, the sun was full-in the sky so armed 
with cameras and the wallet we set off. 
At the end of the day we had not spent a lot but had some 
nice plants each and caught up on each others life's 
over the past couple of weeks.

Yes I had a right nice day
I did have a few beers with both my boys
for all the right reasons
It was not because of stress, or negative thoughts
So I will not be condemning my self for it
but no big shiny medal this week end.

Friday, 6 May 2011

Friday! We like fridays

I'm up 
and out of bed
This is an a tempt at self motivation
little bits like this I feel are probably best as 
a twitter but like every thing else needs to be set up 
 I'm waiting for  I suppose the need to get greater 
leaving me with no excuses 
A procrastinator some thing I am willing to emitto.
 Back later may be if,
I have good intentions but life gets in the way....

Thursday, 5 May 2011

Thursday morning's thoughts, Yesterday was a day.................

All Good,
that did not stop it, in fact it started it,
what are we talking about here 
my stress levels, anxiety, 
an old established enemy of mine,
O how I needed a drink,
it came close,
But this morning,
I emerged   

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Things are no what they use to-be

Those little treats that's  replacing  my habit, it use to be a few (5/6) beers each night 
now only drinking occasionally,  the treat is at times ice cream, its only cheap ice cream,
but ice cream is ice cream, at first that treat was steak (beef), 
but you know cut backs and all that, we vary things about, 
I don't think any of its healthy tho. By the way dad was a butcher,
  I'm no good at writing about my self, does not seem to flow 
like talking but it's good  for me in many ways, more later.

 My dog and the post man.
He still gets his meat.

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

It's over give your self a medal

Our 4 day brake in the UK is over , lets get back to normal.
But first the medal ceremony,
if this last week you achieved goals, hit targets or just
kept it together, on the straight and narrow .
Give your self a medal, or a permitted treat you've earned it.

Sunday, 1 May 2011

A lapse need not be major continue the journey

My recovery may be likened to traveling London's  M25
challenging at times, slow, best made in good company for support.