Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Good News.

 I was sitting around stressing about the pains in
my body due to the stupidity of lifting to much at
the beginning of last week, as an attempt to stop this
going around my head  I phoned my Specialist Nurse, 
for advice on how to proceed with my pelvic floor exercises, 
in the hope I would not make things worse, 
was told things would probably be OK. But take it easy! 
Followed  by the good news my first PSA Blood Test
was  Zero, (His words less than zero,)

Now I've just had this all confirmed at a routine 
Hospital appointment.      

Sunday, 22 September 2013


The garden ,Prostate Cancer
The garden is not getting the attention,
its been five long weeks since my operation
for Prostate Cancer, the body is healing
no big scars just little red marks on the body
but in side still a little sore at times
uncomfortable to sit down in the evenings.

The mind is restless not coping with the inactivity
of convalescing, and the lack of control over
life.  I need to be in the driving seat,
They changed my medication to ease things out
a bit, but now feeling worse.  

Saturday, 14 September 2013

Bus Home

 London sky line, Barnet
         Stu's View.

Photo taken as the bus started its descent from Barnet
on the journey home last-week after my consultation with my surgeon,
in the very far-distance it was possible just to make out a little of the london sky line
but never got a clear shot with the camera.      

Monday, 9 September 2013

Yellow Paint

Stop Negativity
Will it stop the unwanted buildup of negativity?

Going to give it a go  

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Tuff Times

Really Missing the bike as a means of de-stressing, 
because of the surgery, not going to be able to ride for
another three weeks or so, may be more starting to get
fidgety, if the body stops the mind goes into overdrive
reworking old troubles, trying to read more 
but really need new glasses. 

Friday, 30 August 2013

Downloading Nirvana, by Glen Byford reviewed

The last ten days,from the beginning of my recovery from a operation
for Prostate Cancer, has been eased along by a book fashioned 
around people close to me, in-fact some very close may even be family,
if I don't sound sure it's because its a work of fiction but the inspiration
is so so familiar, it became like a sudoku puzzle for me,
filling in parts moving them around trying to get it all to add up,
Was it a game show I was on, or a refresher course to brush up my life
skills, I don't know but I feel all the better for reading it.
I shed a few tears and also roared with laughter, for me a moving book,

Well-done  Glen,   

Saturday, 24 August 2013

Living in the Moment, an aspiration.

The Surgeon performed his part a week ago,
Now I start my recovery, I seem to have
recovery tasks in tandem now,
I remember when work was like this
moving from job to job, more than one a day,
and at weekends,  living in the moment,
no plans just the need to live,
maybe I need to get some of
that life back, the one without the need of a 
backup plan / safety-net, to much thinking
all the time, I don't think its going-to happen  
overnight but lets try, Just now and then.
      Freedom is around the next corner!   

Monday, 12 August 2013

Monday, 22 July 2013

Under the knife

As I prepared this red pepper for our salad
it reminded me of my coming operation
for prostate cancer

Friday, 19 July 2013

Sweet Freedom

Not every thing in life is all the better for being kept in order,
like this privet hedge if it had been kept within boundaries,
its full potential would not have been reached  delivering 
the sweet heady perfume of flowers,
now draped with the larger flowers and leafs of the Bellbine.
As kids as we squeezed the green bud at the base of the white trumpet
  reciting a little rhyme ending with  granny jump out of bed,
the original words lost to me in the mists if time.

Friday, 5 July 2013

Secrets of Folly Island

The Allotments a nice peaceful plot nestled down 
behind the town of Hertford, where the pace of life
slows to an expectable amble, with the river on one
side lined with a floating community of barges.
Completing the sandwich parkland and a 
sports complex on the other.

Saturday, 29 June 2013

Found Art

The creative part of me is always on the look out for materials if not for me, maybe to hand on to my son, I pick this up to day, at the time not-really thinking of the connotations. Then at home randomly laid the toy on 
a folder for photographing, this is the result, 
I was surprised how much it reflected my present journey      

Saturday, 22 June 2013

I've been there and back

To the limit 

As I push on out 
the whizz of rubber
the flapping of cloth 
warming of muscle 
inflating lungs 
just bumblebee exceleration
to clear the hemmed in fog
cycling to freedom
desperate measures to 
slow the mind 
thats stuck on spin

Yes it did work     

Sunday, 9 June 2013


To achieve the in possible 
I needed a glass, 
my old favorite drinking glass,
it had to be drunk,
one litre of laxative in a hour 
followed by half a litre of water.
all repeated four hours later
all on top of the three day strict diet.
further details I need not go into,
the subsequent hospital visit  went well,
mission accomplished,
powered by dissociation
and pleasant  memories,  

Now the sad news,
fond memories of tasty tipples
associated with my favorite glass 
poisoned, wiped out gone, replaced with

Friday, 7 June 2013

Was this the early influence of the Batman comics ?


Along way down

When the boys started to ride their bikes
many years ago a trip out took us to a 
local hill, on seeing the long steep decline
the boys renamed it Holy Shit Hill,
was this a early influence of 
The Batman comics on their lives.

The second picture is looking down the hill,
the last is looking back up.

Pictures taken last week on one of my
recent trips down memory lane.  

Wednesday, 5 June 2013

A walk in the park

After a relatively stress free meeting at the hospital
today we walked back to the bus stop on the A10,
byway of  a new root along the green buffer zone
at the side of the London North Circular
and Pymme's Brook. 

Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Post-Traumatic Growth,

Hold on Tight
Now I'm starting to ride the wave of positive energies 
around me, harness and embrace with vigor 
the people that oozes fun and humor,
As the healing sun starts thawing the cramps of winter,
the shock of cancer slips to the side,
eased by the favorable results of scans and x-rays
now I'm in surgeons hands, 
Mud and negativity must be left behind,
bundled with winter, and dumped  
on the corner in the municipal bin,

Sunday, 26 May 2013

Wet and Dry

My eyes are wet, My eyes are dry,
laughs and smiles mingle with distant tunes,
youth is now sitting on the bottom step,
old age grabbing the banister,
over loaded tired joints yearn for sedation 
a kick and punch that smoothes and caresses, 
a guaranteed lift, with a hefty drop,
to the fridge, back at the shop. 


Thursday, 23 May 2013

Vale House, Hertford

Stu's view May 2013

Vale House set on the the road from Hertford to Bengeo
A large meandering building that in the past has offered support to
people with addictions, a successful stabilisation service giving
hope, the feeling of belonging and achievement to many,
now sitting empty, its self now in much need of care.


Wednesday, 8 May 2013


The hardest bog I have had to write,
in my profile I jested at the time about
showing a few signs of wear and tear,
well the rust seems now to be visible,
you will need a microscope of some sort
to see it, Cancer, hoping its just a smidgin on
the left side of my prostate,
Still awaiting results of MRI and Bone Scan   
At this stage I'm still not drinking,
hows that ? Well talking to 
supportive family and friends 
also that two year goal.
Now its back to taking one day at a time.

Thanks to everybody for
your support over the last week.

Lots of love from a stronger Stu.   

Monday, 6 May 2013

Two Years Dry, its a Birthday

Holding on to this mile stone,
like a foundation, we can carry on
building it, or go down the pub,
the ground works done now,
to finish the job I'm going to need craftsmen
to hold my hand and whack a few screws in 
as times are tuff.

I'm off its time for a tea now.

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Temptation of the tin

We sell it, 
it's just the job,
look next door they sell it,
all the doors are open come on in, 
so many friendly buildings with open arms,
shelfs stacked with that taste good factor,
all I had to do was say no,

No was not in my vocabulary today,
but when you can't say no,
later is safer.

Walk on by. 


Monday, 15 April 2013

Our world, A Good Start.

And we are off,
its monday dustman day
the week has started, 
stray paper  being whipped
up by the wind,
Mr Fox obtaining quality nosh 
on his daily journey around town,
as our little ones sleep.
all is fine with the world. 
The warm sun kisses the roof tops.
all is fine in my little world,
If you keep your head down
and don't let the mind stray too far. 


Friday, 12 April 2013

I've been walking all week

When I say I've been no where special thats not 
exactly true, I've been walking around my home
town, following well worn trails from the past,
climbing over memories, ducking down short cuts,
and its been great because they have all led home.
last night I felt a lot older than my years
when I went to bed, about one hundred and five
it's taken all day to partly recover

Till the next time.   

Sunday, 7 April 2013

No need for that language

Looks and feels something like summer at last,
had a nice day in the garden just pottering about,
even got the shorts on, stress to a minimum today
No tics, to knackered even to think just crashed out in bed after, 
No half measures, in fact no measures at-all 
( alcohol that is )  still got that feeling of achievement.

good night all. 

Thursday, 4 April 2013

Your opinion is important to us

How did we do? Shit same as last time,
you look surprised, O you've just woken up
daydreaming  for months and months,
my doctor can give you something for that,
three weeks wait for a appointment,
Never ever had to wait that long in the pub
for a drink, 

Smile its Spring.

Saturday, 19 January 2013

Marvaless Every Thing Snowbound

Now England is functioning at my speed,
thats just ticking over, hope to get out of this
rut soon.