where has this little car been

Spotted today strewn across a near by road junction
three week spin ends.

Towed away at speed laughing

This little car appeared out side home over night

around midd morning a lad of about 20 years old knocked

on my door asking if it was mine 

I explained no, things often appear there over night and if he 

wanted it to help him self it was fine by me, making conversation 

I asked if he had a child for it,he answered no he was

going to take it home, then tow the girl friend behind his motor bike and see how

fast they could go. 

Bollywood Star

9"x5"

Painted today siting in the shade of my garden 

Acrylic paintings completed this week

7"x9"

10"x6"    Eminem

9"x7"

Pictures on hardboard base on articles in the Metro newspaper . 

A collage created yesterday from a old Metto

All headlines  taken from one paper to sum up some of the hopes and frustrations in my life now.
the drink is dealt with its the rest of the journey  that needs direction .

Today Don't Drink! Don't Smoke!

Three years one day at a time

a mile stone AA Birthday.

Have never been a smoker 1 or 2 at school

but did like a 4 or 5 cans after work

just to unwind. 

The night sky to night over Waltham Cross this evening.

The perfect end to the day

Every thing rosy 

Living on the streets

in the land of makebelieve,

spotted on my way out this morning.   

Good News.

 I was sitting around stressing about the pains in
my body due to the stupidity of lifting to much at
the beginning of last week, as an attempt to stop this
going around my head  I phoned my Specialist Nurse, 
for advice on how to proceed with my pelvic floor exercises, 
in the hope I would not make things worse, 
was told things would probably be OK. But take it easy! 
Followed  by the good news my first PSA Blood Test
was  Zero, (His words less than zero,)

Now I've just had this all confirmed at a routine 
Hospital appointment.      

Neglected

The garden is not getting the attention,
its been five long weeks since my operation
for Prostate Cancer, the body is healing
no big scars just little red marks on the body
but in side still a little sore at times
uncomfortable to sit down in the evenings.

The mind is restless not coping with the inactivity
of convalescing, and the lack of control over
life.  I need to be in the driving seat,
They changed my medication to ease things out
a bit, but now feeling worse.  
   

Bus Home

         Stu's View.

Photo taken as the bus started its descent from Barnet
on the journey home last-week after my consultation with my surgeon,
in the very far-distance it was possible just to make out a little of the london sky line
but never got a clear shot with the camera.      

Tuff Times

Really Missing the bike as a means of de-stressing, 

because of the surgery, not going to be able to ride for

another three weeks or so, may be more starting to get

fidgety, if the body stops the mind goes into overdrive

reworking old troubles, trying to read more 

but really need new glasses. 

      

   

Downloading Nirvana, by Glen Byford reviewed

The last ten days,from the beginning of my recovery from a operation

for Prostate Cancer, has been eased along by a book fashioned 

around people close to me, in-fact some very close may even be family,

if I don't sound sure it's because its a work of fiction but the inspiration

is so so familiar, it became like a sudoku puzzle for me,

filling in parts moving them around trying to get it all to add up,

Was it a game show I was on, or a refresher course to brush up my life

skills, I don't know but I feel all the better for reading it.

I shed a few tears and also roared with laughter, for me a moving book,

Well-done  Glen,   

Link....

 Glen Byford. promised an original novel of his own creation,  

Living in the Moment, an aspiration.

The Surgeon performed his part a week ago,

Now I start my recovery, I seem to have

recovery tasks in tandem now,

I remember when work was like this

moving from job to job, more than one a day,

and at weekends,  living in the moment,

no plans just the need to live,

maybe I need to get some of

that life back, the one without the need of a 

backup plan / safety-net, to much thinking

all the time, I don't think its going-to happen  

overnight but lets try, Just now and then.

             

      Freedom is around the next corner!   

We cleared the house of the unwanted junk

But my head still refuses to relinquish its store of tiresome demanding draining thoughts.  

I've been there and back

To the limit 

As I push on out 

the whizz of rubber

the flapping of cloth 

warming of muscle 

inflating lungs 

just bumblebee exceleration

to clear the hemmed in fog

cycling to freedom

desperate measures to 

slow the mind 

thats stuck on spin

         *

Yes it did work     

POISONED ?

To achieve the in possible 

I needed a glass, 

my old favorite drinking glass,

it had to be drunk,

one litre of laxative in a hour 

followed by half a litre of water.

all repeated four hours later

all on top of the three day strict diet.

further details I need not go into,

the subsequent hospital visit  went well,

mission accomplished,

powered by dissociation

and pleasant  memories,  

Now the sad news,

fond memories of tasty tipples

associated with my favorite glass 

poisoned, wiped out gone, replaced with

YUCK.      

Was this the early influence of the Batman comics ?

  

Along way down

When the boys started to ride their bikes

many years ago a trip out took us to a 

local hill, on seeing the long steep decline

the boys renamed it Holy Shit Hill,

was this a early influence of 

The Batman comics on their lives.

The second picture is looking down the hill,

the last is looking back up.

Pictures taken last week on one of my

recent trips down memory lane.  

A walk in the park

After a relatively stress free meeting at the hospital
today we walked back to the bus stop on the A10,
byway of  a new root along the green buffer zone
at the side of the London North Circular
and Pymme's Brook. 

Post-Traumatic Growth,

Hold on Tight

Now I'm starting to ride the wave of positive energies 

around me, harness and embrace with vigor 

the people that oozes fun and humor,

As the healing sun starts thawing the cramps of winter,

the shock of cancer slips to the side,

eased by the favorable results of scans and x-rays

now I'm in surgeons hands, 

Mud and negativity must be left behind,

bundled with winter, and dumped  

on the corner in the municipal bin,